Ilias Tsagklis

About Ilias Tsagklis

Ilias Tsagklis is a senior software engineer working in the telecom domain. He is an applications developer in a wide variety of applications/services. Ilias is co-founder and Executive Editor at Java Code Geeks.

Funny Source Code Comments

I recently stumbled upon an awesome Stack Overflow thread, entitled “What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered?”.

As you might have guessed, it is a collection of funny source code comments, provided by developers all over the world. Take a look at it, it could definitely make your day.

I am reposting here my personal favorites from that long long collection:

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

Exception up = new Exception(“Something is really wrong.”);
throw up; //ha ha

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.

// drunk, fix later

// Magic. Do not touch.

return 1; # returns 1

double penetration; // ouch

/////////////////////////////////////// this is a well commented line

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete.

// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am.

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

// I have to find a better job

// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

} catch (PartInitException pie) {
// Mmm… pie
}

// John! If you’ll svn remove this once more,
// I’ll shut you, for God’s sake!
// That piece of code is not “something strange”!
// That is THE AUTH VALIDATION.

try {

}
catch (SQLException ex) {
// Basically, without saying too much, you’re screwed. Royally and totally.
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
//If you thought you were screwed before, boy have I news for you!!!
}

// Catching exceptions is for communists

// If you’re reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

// if i ever see this again i’m going to start bringing guns to work

// The magnitude of this hack compares favorably with that of the national debt.

//ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

// If this code works, it was written by Paul. If not, I don’t know who wrote it

//You are not expected to understand this

/**
* If you don’t understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
*/

‘NO COMMENT

//Abandon all hope yea who enter beyond this point

//Mr. Compiler, please do not read this.

catch (Ex as Exception)
{
// oh crap, we should do something.
}

// TODO make this work

// If you delete the credits, I will fucking kill you.

// This is crap code but it’s 3 a.m. and I need to get this working.

// For the sins I am about to commit, may James Gosling forgive me

// Houston, we have a problem

// If I from the future read this I’ll back in time and kill myself.

Pure awesomeness… Don’t forget to share your own favorites in the comments!

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67 Responses to "Funny Source Code Comments"

  1. Tom Malaher says:

    From the SysV unix timezone man page:

    “Beware making appointments with punctuality sticklers in Riyadh”

    Because, of course, Saudi Arabia runs on sun time…

  2. TJ says:

    Truly awesome.

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